Bun in the oven!

Hi everybody! I’m sure all of you know at this point that Ben, Maddie, and I are expecting a new addition to our little family! Surprise! (At least it was to us) We have been trying to get pregnant for a few years now with absolutely no success. Recently there came a time when we just gave up. We figured sometime soon (probably later this year) we would start the adoption process and then have another one of our own when Ben is done with school and we would have the money to go to a doctor and try to figure out exactly what is wrong. That was the plan until I woke up at 4am on January 12th and threw up. I knew it wasn’t something I had eaten because there was no food in my stomach. I got really mad because I thought I had the flu and I had just gotten over being really sick. I managed to finally go back to sleep and when I woke up the next morning I felt a bit better. When I realized I wasn’t going to throw up again I decided it couldn’t be the flu and that I had better take a pregnancy test. As I lay on my bed waiting the 3 minutes for the results to show up I thought back over the past few years and contemplated how I would feel if I saw two lines instead of just one.

A few months ago I had definitely succumb to the idea that I may never be pregnant again which was certainly a source of sadness. I don’t know how many times I’ve cried just looking at a baby! Eventually I convinced myself ( in order to block out the sadness) that it was so much easier having just one child. I get to spoil Maddie and spend as much time with her as I want, it’s easy to just pick up and go to a movie or go out to dinner, and I don’t have to feed her or change her diaper. She’s so simple! Even laying there waiting for the test my mind was racing in an effort to prepare myself for a negative result. If somehow I could want the test to be negative then it would be a relief rather than a let down. “I really don’t want to have morning sickness all the time! I need to lose weight before I get pregnant again! I’m working a little bit to help Ben get through school and I don’t want to work with a newborn at home so that would put more pressure on Ben. I’m trying to go to school at this point in my life and a new baby would definitely interrupt those plans!”

Despite my talents at convincing myself that I don’t want something that I actually do want, I was ecstatic when I went into the bathroom and saw two lines instead of one. My entire body started shaking. I was hyperventilating. I was crying. I was a mess! I literally sprinted upstairs, burst into my mom’s room, woke her up, handed her the stick and asked her to confirm that I wasn’t seeing things. The first few days brought utter shock and disbelief, but in the past weeks those emotions have changed to complete excitement.
I went to my first doctor’s appointment today where they did an ultrasound. The baby was jumping around like crazy and even waved at us!



For some reason I really feel like it’s a boy this time but we won’t find out for sure until mid April. The baby’s measurements put me at 12 weeks so we are expecting our little bundle of joy sometime in late August or early September. As of right now this is what he looks like



That little thing is snuggled up in my 12 week belly.



We’ll keep everyone posted as the baby and my belly continue to grow!